Litt humor i hverdagen. - Side 45

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  1. #881
    Intermediate Thlian sin avatar
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    You sick son of a bitch :shock:

  2. #882
    Intermediate kinosjef_christian sin avatar
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    syke man!! :shock:

  3. #883
    Intermediate Jan A M sin avatar
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    ÆSJ!!! FAEN!!!!

  4. #884
    Intermediate dvdjan sin avatar
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    Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
    "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
    "Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
    But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?"
    He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

  5. #885
    Intermediate robertaas sin avatar
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    Fra Teen Beat, 1983

  6. #886
    Intermediate Rusty sin avatar
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    :lol:

  7. #887
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    http://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/2005/01/07/419636.html

    «Stikk ikke kniver og andre skarpe gjenstander gjennom masken når den er i bruk.» (Halloween-maske) he he

  8. #888
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    tok denne fra et anna forum, er en "killer"! :lol:

    The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake
    Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of
    Operations (AO):

    1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

    2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

    3. Armor: Drives over snake, laughs, and looks for
    more snakes.

    4. Aviation: Has 12-digit grid coordinates of snake
    from GPS. FAC gives steer to target. Can't find
    snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and
    manicure.

    5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

    6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with ma**ive Time On
    Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades
    in support. Kills several hundred civilians as
    unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered
    a success and all participants (inc. cooks, mechanics
    and clerks)are awarded Silver Stars.

    7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores
    all State Department directives and Theater Commander
    Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and
    winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other
    snakes. Files enormous claim for travel pay
    settlement upon return.

    8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth
    doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual
    about how to defeat snake using countermobility
    a**ets. Complains that maneuver forces don't
    understand how to properly conduct doctrinal
    counter-snake ops.

    9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for
    naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake.
    Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood
    makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim
    extremist snakes.

    10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various
    types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to
    Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces
    are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force
    projection.

    11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for
    souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US
    forces from Area of Operations.

    12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

    13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

    14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial
    encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life.

    15. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is
    backordered.)

    16. Transport pilot: Air-drops expired snakebite kits
    two grid squares away on roof of children's hospital.

    17. F-15 pilot: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mi-24
    Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief
    paints snake kill on aircraft fuselage.

    18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster
    bombs, misses snake target, demolishes emba**y 4 km
    east of snake due to weather. Cites inclement weather
    (Too Hot, Too Cold, Clear but overcast, Too dry with
    Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.)
    Suggests procurement of million-dollar, air-to-ground
    anti-snake bomb.

    19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake,
    cold-blooded snakes don't show well on infrared.
    Infrared only operable in desert AOs without power
    lines or SAMs.

    20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pa**
    after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS-17
    to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into
    fire.

    21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake,
    kills snake and every other living thing within two
    miles of target.

    22. Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to
    snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization
    from National Command Authority to use nuclear
    weapons.

    23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only
    four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently
    active. We a**ess the potential for snake activity as
    LOW.

    24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to
    bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

  9. #889
    Intermediate Jan A M sin avatar
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    ... hva er vitsen med å sensurere ordet "ass"? :roll:

    Og i dette tilfellet bokstavene "a" "s" "s" etter hverandre i hvilken som helst samenheng. Blir nesten provosert av alle tåpelige sensureringer som blir gjort, enkelte plasser i verden. :?

  10. #890
    Intermediate Mirage sin avatar
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  11. #891
    Intermediate Mirage sin avatar
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  12. #892
    Intermediate robertaas sin avatar
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    Kister i Afrika er ikke alltid som kister i Norge.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/4215923.stm
    Klikk på pilene for å gå gjennom bildene. Hva med en kiste formet som en livmor?


    Robert-

  13. #893
    Intermediate polkalizer sin avatar
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    http://www.avforum.no/forum/viewtopi...4&start=30

    Kreativ markedsføring her på forumet :roll:

  14. #894
    Expert Anfield sin avatar
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    Sitat Opprinnelig postet av polkalizer
    http://www.avforum.no/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15414&start=30

    Kreativ markedsføring her på forumet :roll:
    He hehe, ja.....

  15. #895
    Expert kenti sin avatar
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    Tja. sjekk disse.


    Blond?

    Ass on fire

  16. #896
    Guru Tiger sin avatar
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    Film:

    Avansert monolog


    ...og dette bildet:


  17. #897
    Moderator Kokken sin avatar
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    Sitat Opprinnelig postet av Tiger
    LOL

  18. #898
    Intermediate dvdjan sin avatar
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  19. #899
    Intermediate Roger sin avatar
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    Irriterende?

    http://tull.no/innhold/moro/humor/latter.php
    Håper denne ikke har vært her før. I så fall beklager jeg. Hvis ikke den er brukt før vil jeg anbefale dere å sende den til noen uten humor

  20. #900
    Newcomer Nobleman sin avatar
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    Emne: God kaffepause...

    1.Klikk på linken under

    2. Ha en mynt i maskinen.

    3. Velg en drikk

    4. Klikk på koppen når det er klart


    Værsågod

    Glem ikke å trykke på "apri"

    http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_f..._150404_01.swf


    *(*Fungerer best med lyd*)




    Ha en fortreffelig dag - med eller uten kaffe.

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