You sick son of a bitch :shock:
Viser resultater 881 til 900 av 2603
Tråd: Litt humor i hverdagen.
01-23-2005, 02:00 #881
01-23-2005, 19:49 #882
01-24-2005, 00:39 #883
01-24-2005, 17:33 #884
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize.
"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied, still in pain, in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked, "How does that feel?"
He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
01-25-2005, 01:08 #885
01-29-2005, 17:34 #886
01-29-2005, 20:03 #887
01-30-2005, 02:21 #888
tok denne fra et anna forum, er en "killer"! :lol:
The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake
Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of
1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.
3. Armor: Drives over snake, laughs, and looks for
4. Aviation: Has 12-digit grid coordinates of snake
from GPS. FAC gives steer to target. Can't find
snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and
5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.
6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with ma**ive Time On
Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades
in support. Kills several hundred civilians as
unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered
a success and all participants (inc. cooks, mechanics
and clerks)are awarded Silver Stars.
7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores
all State Department directives and Theater Commander
Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and
winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other
snakes. Files enormous claim for travel pay
settlement upon return.
8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth
doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual
about how to defeat snake using countermobility
a**ets. Complains that maneuver forces don't
understand how to properly conduct doctrinal
9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for
naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake.
Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood
makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim
10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various
types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to
Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces
are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force
11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for
souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US
forces from Area of Operations.
12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.
13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.
14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial
encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life.
15. Supply: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is
16. Transport pilot: Air-drops expired snakebite kits
two grid squares away on roof of children's hospital.
17. F-15 pilot: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mi-24
Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief
paints snake kill on aircraft fuselage.
18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster
bombs, misses snake target, demolishes emba**y 4 km
east of snake due to weather. Cites inclement weather
(Too Hot, Too Cold, Clear but overcast, Too dry with
Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.)
Suggests procurement of million-dollar, air-to-ground
19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake,
cold-blooded snakes don't show well on infrared.
Infrared only operable in desert AOs without power
lines or SAMs.
20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pa**
after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS-17
to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into
21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake,
kills snake and every other living thing within two
miles of target.
22. Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to
snake in 20 seconds, but can't receive authorization
from National Command Authority to use nuclear
23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only
four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently
active. We a**ess the potential for snake activity as
24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to
bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.
01-30-2005, 05:17 #889
... hva er vitsen med å sensurere ordet "ass"? :roll:
Og i dette tilfellet bokstavene "a" "s" "s" etter hverandre i hvilken som helst samenheng. Blir nesten provosert av alle tåpelige sensureringer som blir gjort, enkelte plasser i verden. :?
01-30-2005, 18:54 #890
01-30-2005, 21:29 #891
02-01-2005, 15:46 #892
02-01-2005, 16:40 #893
02-01-2005, 17:00 #894Opprinnelig postet av polkalizer
02-04-2005, 20:32 #895
- Medlem siden
- Feb 2004
- Takk & like
- 7 post(er)
02-04-2005, 22:26 #896
02-04-2005, 22:41 #897Opprinnelig postet av Tiger
02-05-2005, 17:37 #898
02-07-2005, 15:55 #899
Håper denne ikke har vært her før. I så fall beklager jeg. Hvis ikke den er brukt før vil jeg anbefale dere å sende den til noen uten humor
02-09-2005, 10:22 #900
Emne: God kaffepause...
1.Klikk på linken under
2. Ha en mynt i maskinen.
3. Velg en drikk
4. Klikk på koppen når det er klart
Glem ikke å trykke på "apri"
*(*Fungerer best med lyd*)
Ha en fortreffelig dag - med eller uten kaffe.